I sat waiting for him to say something- anything.
Well, almost anything.
See, I didn’t want him to say that he didn’t love me. I wanted him to say that he did. I had expectations. I had great expectations.
Oblivious to my expectations, he sat there, blue eyes sparkling as he revealed the inner most parts of why he wanted to grab coffee. I listened, intently, realizing that the night was not going to end how I expected. There were to be no fireworks, no professions of undying affection- no remorse for things unsaid. Instead, here we were, with me sipping hot tea, and him revealing the innermost parts of his dreams. I shifted my weight in my seat and ran my fingers through my hair as he spoke.
Oh, how I wished things were different…. how I wished that they would go differently….
Or, did I?
I cupped my tea in both hands and watched his eyes shift as he tried- and succeeded- to make me laugh. Our conversation continued and somewhere between his attempts to make me laugh, and my desires for suppressed, unconfessed love, it happened….
I put my expectations to bed and dared to enjoy the moment.
Then it happened again.
Walking through a corn maze, I trudged, following behind three of my dear friends. We made our way into the open, all silently grumbling about what seemed to be a pointless afternoon at a pumpkin patch. We all expected it to be different. We all wanted it to be different, yet, here we were.
We made light of the situation, and decided to take a few pictures with pumpkins- because what else do you do at a pumpkin patch?
Without words, we all decided to let our spirits be lightened by laughter.
We all expected for that to be it, that to be the end of the day.
We began to walk back towards our car when we saw it: A small field of zinnias sparkled in a window of glowly light.
Then, the unexpected happened.
For 45 minutes the four of us giggled, wove flowers through our hair and put on a mini photo shoot. Being a photographer, I’ve learned that there is almost nothing sweeter than when a woman believes she’s beautiful- and right there, in the middle of the small field of zinnias, with the most magnificent light I have yet to see- all four of us felt magnificently beautiful.
But, none of us had expected it to happen.
Lately I’ve been pondering expectations. Seriously thinking, about them. I’ve come to a conclusion: life is well lived when expectations aren’t set. I’m not saying that expectations are bad- but I am saying that I believe them to be our perceived snapshot of how something should be/look/act. When we put expectations on something we are literally saying: “I won’t be happy unless or until this happens”.
The Lord doesn’t often speak audibly to me- instead, he whispers truth into my heart. Kinda like thoughts, or promptings he pushes me to trust him.
Recently he spoke this over me: Put your expectations to bed so your dreams can come true.
I was dumbfounded.
Sometimes, the Lord allows things to happen that don’t turn out how we expect they should. Or, he may tell us something, and then allow something that seems completely different to happen. That doesn’t mean he’s finished- keep trusting! God is teaching me that he cannot break his promises (Hebrews 6: 18)- so if he says something, we need to trust that he’s gonna do it. That’s the cool thing about God- He cannot lie.
But he often has to break our expectations in order for us to see what’s really important.
So, dear friend, put your expectations to bed so your dreams can come true.
They often come true when you least expect it, in a way you never thought possible.
xo
AnnaFilly
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