Nicole Barker | FREE15

Nicole has a heart for ministry, specifically, for ministering to young women.  Her submission to “the Free fifteen” captivated my attention instantly because of its unique presentation and authenticity.  Nicole wanted to use her submission to encourage young women in their pursuit of Christ!  So, without further ado, I’ll let her take it from here!

xo
AnnaFilly

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I promise you that He is worth it all. I have not always believed this statement but the more days I am given on earth, the more I choose not to care what others think of me. Not to say I don’t care about my reputation or having a good name. Instead, I daily work towards not allowing other people’s opinions mandate how I view my identity in Christ or skew my view of Him.

God placed Galatians 1:10 on my heart my Junior year of High school it says:

“Am I still trying to seek the approval of man or of God? If I were still trying to seek the approval of man I would not be a servant of Christ.”

However, it made God that much more necessary to depend on. Dependence on God is challenging. It is a “die to self” opportunity because our society screams “feminism liberation” and “male dominance” I have found when I am most desperate and most reliant is when I am most satisfied and content.

Before attending the University of Mobile being labeled the “good girl, innocent and naive” were all very common words that were placed on me. A part of me felt insecure receiving those words and I did not appreciate them. At other times I took pride in them when people would compliment my standards and expectations. Then there were times when I felt down right guilty when I would have moments of realization that there was and is NO thing good in me a part from God.

When I was younger I needed Him to be my friend when I was lonely. I needed Him to help me on a Math homework I did not understand. I needed Him when I got made fun of for having a lisp. I needed Him when my closest friends moved away.

When I was a little older I needed Him when I was persecuted for my faith. I needed Him when I found out my best friends were gossiping behind my back. I needed Him when I thought I could not sing one more note because I was not good enough. I needed Him when my boss cursed me out. I needed Him when anger and judgement would get the best of me and cause me to be looked at as “holier than thou”. I needed Him when a boy broke my heart in half. I needed Him when I thought that my world was falling a part and I did not trust Him with my future. Now I need Him because I love Him and desire more of Him each day. The more desperate I am for Him the more satisfied my soul is. I have discovered I need Him more than I did yesterday.

I need Him because loving others is a priority. The more we do not conform the more others notice and those differences that set us apart. Speaking the truth with a heart filled with the love of God opens many doors for opportunities to share the gospel, provide a listening heart and godly advice. I do not have the right as child of God to be indifferent to those around me. I must walk in love.  Love the unlovable, my enemies, the druggies and my backstabbing friends.  I am to show the same compassion that Christ has shown me.

To please God I need to get to know Him by spending time with Him. He desires for you and I to follow our dreams and live a life worthy of the calling we have received. He wants for us to be set a part even though it is widely looked down upon. Truth is, set a part children need set apart time with their Father to function in the day to day wearisome responsibilities that he desires to provide promised joy in if we just look to Him. He wants to take time to restore our soul. He calls us to live as aliens and foreigners in this world by speaking, loving, walking, seeking and living like Christ did.

I chose to walk differently and I paid for it through others hurtful words and actions but Christ bore much more hurt on the cross for my own sin.

On my knees is where I find myself in Him and where He transforms my wicked heart and washes me white as snow.  A heart bent and postured towards Him-the anchor of my soul. He is sufficient because He is Sovereign and is the only constant. Being a “good girl” costs, but Jesus paid the ultimate cost. The cost is worth it all. Both you and I were bought with a price.

Some days I did not want to be the “good girl” but thus far it has been worth it all.

And to all my sisters out there who have ever felt downhearted about the label “good girl” give a listen to the old school song “Good Girl” written by Zoegirl.

Continue to withhold a character that is pleasing to Christ, speaking truth in love, and pleasing God first.

– Nicole B.